Hello, gamers! Editor Extraordinaire Richard Moore here, with a sneak peek of our product lineup for 2015! As we begin our foray into the second quarter of the year, we have a lot of exciting supplements in the pipeline, but none so anticipated as our Book Of Heroic Races Advanced series. By now, you probably know about a lot of the upcoming releases in this product line from our posts on social media, including merfolk, wyvarans, and lizardfolk. If you’re a subscriber, then you already have our take on tengu, catfolk, and changelings. But we want to go broader—to offer truly unique racial options for our readers.
So, it’s with no small pleasure that I introduce to you the first original race that will be published once we finish covering the material from Book Of Heroic Races: Advanced Favored Class Options. We’re going back to the drawing board to offer you a unique Small-sized playable race called the Pomeran.
Distant relatives of gnolls, the pomeran are a lovable, extroverted people who seek the company of adventuring parties as a means of curing their insatiable desire for attention and adulation. Most pomeran adventurers are barbarians, brawlers, or rogues, although a rare few with magical aptitude become bards, bloodragers, or skalds. We’re saving a lot of the details and advanced options of this scrappy new race for the final product, but for now, feel free to use the following details to create your own pomeran PCs and NPCs for your game!
Ability Score Racial Traits: –2 Strength, +2 Dexterity, –2 Intelligence, +2 Charisma. Pomerans are quick and endearing, but lack higher reasoning and brawn.
Type: Pomerans are humanoids with the pomeran subtype.
Size: Pomerans are Small creatures and thus gain a +1 size bonus to their AC, a +1 size bonus on attack rolls, a –1 penalty on their combat maneuver checks and to Combat Maneuver Defense, and a +4 size bonus on Stealth checks.
Base Speed: Pomerans have a base speed of 30 feet.
Languages: Pomerans begin play speaking only Gnoll. Pomerans with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Abyssal, Celestial, Common, Infernal, and Sylvan.
Low-Light Vision: Pomerans can see twice as far as humans in conditions of dim light.
Bite: Pomerans have a bite attack which they can use as a natural weapon. The bite is a primary attack that deals 1d4 points of damage.
Chase: Pomerans gain the benefit of the Run feat when moving toward a creature that is withdrawing or otherwise actively retreating from combat, regardless of the load they are carrying or the armor they are wearing. Additionally, their bite attack deals double damage to withdrawing or retreating creatures.
Fervent Attention: Pomerans are doggedly tenacious when doing something that interests them. They receive a +4 racial bonus to all concentration checks.
Fetch: If a creature within a range equal to the pomeran’s speed drops an object, whether willingly or due to being disarmed or otherwise forced to drop an item by some effect, the pomeran may, as an immediate action, move up to its speed, picking up the dropped object at any point during its movement.
…Alright, so by now you’re probably figured out that this is our April Fool’s Day post. But really, in all seriousness, we also want to post some previews of REAL upcoming material. For instance, we’re working on some great new supplemental material for Gms who want to spice up things at their table. One such game aid is a short supplement of new monster templates, like this jewel that’s guaranteed to get your players’ attention at your next session:
NEW MONSTER TEMPLATE: Screw You Guys, It’s A Creature (CR +0, because screw you guys)
A screw you guys, it’s a creature is a more powerful version of a given monster type that can withstand punishment from twinked-out, min-maxed character builds with enragingly powerful ability combos like ragelancepounce or broke-ass feats like Clustered Shots or the pre-errata Crane Wing*.
A screw you guys, it’s a creature gains maximum hit points for its hit dice, a +10 insight bonus to AC, CMD, attacks, and CMB checks, and a +10 luck bonus to all damage rolls. It also gains Improved Great Fortitude, Improved Iron Will, and Improved Lightning Reflexes as bonus feats (even if it does not meet the prerequisites for these feats). Additionally, it gains DR 10/legendary (“legendary” is defined as any damage source with a total enhancement bonus of +10 or higher, because screw you, that’s why), heavy fortification, the benefits of the Improved Evasion rogue talent, the Dual Initiative mythic universal monster ability, and Spell Resistance equal to its CR + 22. That oughta teach the little bastards.
SAMPLE MONSTER: Screw You Guys, It’s A Chicken
N Tiny animal
Init +4/–6; Senses low-light vision; Perception +5
AC 22, touch 22, flat-footed 22 (+10 insight, +2 size)
hp 9 (1d8+1)
Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +1
Defensive Abilities heavy fortification, improved evasion; DR 10/legendary; SR 22
Speed 30 ft., fly 20 ft. (clumsy); drift
Melee bite +8 (1d3+6)
Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Str 3, Dex 11, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 13
Base Atk +0; CMB +8; CMD 14
Feats Improved Great FortitudeB, Improved Initiative, Improved Iron WillB, Improved Lightning ReflexesB
Skills Fly –4, Perception +5
Drift (Ex) A chicken flies in short bursts, and can’t use its fly speed to hover. When it flies, a chicken must end its move action by landing or perching on a solid surface.
…Okay, okay, you got me: this one’s not real either. April Fool’s, again. But for super serious this time, we’re also working on a new print compendium called Book Of Magic: Relics Of Power, which will feature awesome new weapons like this:
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 10th; Weight 2 lbs.; Price 50,308 gp
Forged by a warmage and brigade blacksmith suffering intolerably under his small-minded commander, Major Deauxphis, this weapon famously cut down the general when he turned on his lieutenant for disobeying a suicidal order that would have needlessly killed dozens of troops. It has passed from owner to owner since then, seeking out the most cunning minds to wield its might and slaking its thirst on the blood of fools.
This +3 returning kukri may be thrown as if it were a dagger without penalty. If tossed into the air as a move action, it flies to the creature with the lowest Intelligence score within 60 feet, attacking that creature once with an attack bonus equal to the caster level of the blade’s creator and then dropping to the ground.
On any successful hit against a creature with an Intelligence of 9 or lower, Deauxphis’ Bane deals 2d6 extra damage (as the bane weapon property), plus an additional amount of bleed damage equal to the target’s Intelligence penalty modifier. The weapon has no extra effect against creatures with an Intelligence of 10 or higher, although these creatures might still be subject to the seeking attack described above.
If used against a target with a higher Intelligence score than the wielder in combat, Deauxphis’ Bane forces its wielder to attempt a disarm check against themselves as an immediate action, using their own CMB against their own CMD. If disarmed, the blade flies into one of the target’s free hands or hovers next to them for 1 full round if they do not have a free hand. (This also occurs if the sword is thrown in the air around only creatures that have higher Intelligence scores than the wielder.)
Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bleed, detect thoughts, summon monster I, telekinesis, creator must have an Int score of 20 or higher; Cost 25,308 gp
So, I hope everyone reading this has enjoyed our sneak peek at Jon Brazer Enterprises’ 2015 product offerings, and that you’ll consider subscribing to our… um, guys?
HEY! YOU! GET BACK HERE! For serious, we totally have some awesome products coming out soon! Come back… Please?
Richard Moore is very, very sorry** for this blog post, and blames Dale McCoy for giving him less than 12 hours to come up with some jokes. He also extends his thanks to James Harms, Jenny Moore, and the Warbunny for some much-needed inspiration in a pinch. You can exact your revenge against both of them by sending practical jokes, singing telegrams, and/or blow-up dolls to their hotel rooms at PaizoCon in May.
* Please direct all hate mail to email@example.com, kthxbai.
** not sorry
3 thoughts on “Pathfinder: Preview of Some Awesome Upcoming Products”
The War Bunny is pleased.
Still want my Heroic Gelatious Cube! Still, very funny, love that you had several and turns out that semester of French paid off. Speaking of, that last one is too awesome and frankly not jokey enough. I would seriously use that last item, but then I play smart (ass) Archmages so not to worried about being the dude with the lowest intelligence. 🙂
Again, Kudos and Bravo! Excellent April Fools Day material once again.
And next year. You should actually release you AFD entries in a real book. I’d buy it! Think of the potential, “haha, the joke is they can be purchased and used”. Just saying. Really hung up on that HGC.
This is Loki approved. Remind me to dig out Vrockroaches for you some time.